


I Think I fell In Love Again

by abbeyjewel



Category: Captain America (Movies), Political Animals
Genre: BDSM, Bondage, Dacryphilia, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Overstimulation, Polyamory, Post Orgasm Torture, Rope Bondage, Smut, TJ gets a happy ending, erotic crying, this is all just erotic fluff where tj gets spoiled and loved in all the best ways
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-29
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-17 21:19:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4681850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abbeyjewel/pseuds/abbeyjewel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The fingers in his hair were gentle, but tugged enough so that he could feel the pull. He nuzzled at Steve's knee and let out a contented sigh. Never had he thought he'd feel this happy. If you had told him a year ago he could feel like this, well, he wouldn't have believed a word of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Think I fell In Love Again

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to [pgnbri](http://pgnbri.tumblr.com/) and [katehbug](http://katehbug.tumblr.com/) for proofreading for me!

The fingers in his hair were gentle, but tugged enough so that he could feel the pull. He nuzzled at Steve's knee and let out a contented sigh. Never had he thought he'd feel this happy. If you had told him a year ago he could feel like this, well, he wouldn't have believed a word of it. 

It felt better than the drugs ever had. He felt better than he'd had with Sean. Sean had never lavished attention on him, and never the amount that Steve and Bucky did. He couldn't have imagined in his wildest dreams that not just one, but two people would pay him so much attention and love. 

Bucky kissed the back of his neck, stroking warm hands, one of them metal, down TJ's arms. He shivered but it only made him relax more, putting more weight on Steve's knee. "Ours," Bucky breathed into his ear, making TJ moan. "Whose are you?" He asked, running his fingers down TJ's back now. 

"Yours," he felt himself sink deeper into that place that felt better than being high. He was content to just lay there and be petted. Steve’s large, warm hand in his hair. Bucky’s both tracing his body, erasing the tension that had built up the past few days. It had only been a few days since he’d been on his knees last, but he had missed it oh so much. 

“He’s ours, Steve.” Bucky breathed, informing him as if this was new information. Steve’s hand tightened and TJ couldn’t help the sigh that escaped his lips. “All ours. What shall we do with him?” 

In the year that he’d known Bucky and Steve, not once had they done anything to him that he hadn’t enjoyed. He trusted them, and couldn’t help but anticipate whatever ideas they had for him. One of the best parts of this was how TJ could just… let go. Leave Steve and Bucky to make all the decisions. To do whatever they wished. If they told him what to do, and he obeyed, he couldn’t mess up and disappoint anybody. 

“Mmm,” Steve made a noise as he seemed to think, his fingers rubbing circles into his scalp and pulling at his hair. TJ didn’t know if Steve was thinking, or already knew what he had planned. Steve was painfully obvious when he lied, but TJ couldn’t tell up from down anymore, and they hadn’t even started yet. “Open your eyes.” He instructed TJ, guiding him up gently by his hair so that he could look at Steve. 

Steve’s other hand came up to trace the line of his jaw. TJ let out a breath of air and fought to keep his eyes open, looking up at those blue eyes. He was good, he could obey them and their simple orders. Whatever they wanted and he’d deliver. They were so good to him. 

Bucky, still behind him, gripped his hips. The touch was gentle and firm, just the amount of pressure that would ground TJ. Hug him tight into place. “You know, he’s gained weight since we started caring for him.” Steve casually told Bucky. TJ couldn’t help but tense at that, no matter how deep he was in subspace, he couldn’t escape those words. He wanted to pull away, to hide. He had fought so long to stay skinny, to stay the right size so the media wouldn’t criticise. He’d spent all his life watching his weight, a year wasn’t enough to wash that gut instinct away. 

Steve’s hand tightened around his jaw, still light enough to not hurt, but tight enough to keep him in place if he tried to pull away. His jaw, which the media had written article after article on, how sharp and defined it was…

“No, doll.” Steve interrupted his intrusive and instinctual thoughts. He kissed at TJ’s jawline. “It’s good. You’re good. You’re so healthy now.” TJ shivered and clamped his eyes shut, trying to keep a hold of himself. To force himself back into that comfort he felt before. 

Bucky stroked at his sides, soft now instead of lean and bone thin. His fingers like kisses and daggers, forcing TJ to think about it, but leaving a sweet trail of fire at his sides. “You’re so beautiful.” Bucky kissed at his neck now, sucking on his warm skin. It would leave a mark, no doubt, but who was TJ to complain? He loved the marks they left on him, loved being owned by them… and he felt himself slipping back under. 

“That’s it,” Steve purred, tugging lightly at his hair. “You’re our good boy. Now, eyes on me, doll.” TJ’s eyes blinked open again, and he knew his expression was full of longing and admiration, but it was on a level he couldn’t think to care about. “Yes, good.” He left a warm kiss on TJ’s forehead and TJ’s eyes blinked shut for a moment, enjoying the sensation. 

Steve worked to undo his tie with one hand. It was the same shade of blue as his eyes. TJ had helped him pick it out, and it was made out of the softest silk. That hadn’t mattered to Steve, but TJ knew how to dress for public events, and he’d made sure his boys went looking the part. Unlike Bucky and Steve, TJ was naked. He hadn’t gone to the event, and had instead stayed home, warming their bed like the good submissive boyfriend he was. He’d had enough of the spotlight, living in the “fishbowl” as he had. He was happy to stay behind, get relief from the cameras and the hungry public. He felt more useful this way, safer, cherished. 

The tie was handed to Bucky behind him, the silk sliding over his wrists, delicately holding them together. Steve bent to kiss him as Bucky secured his wrists, tongue seeking out the hidden spots of his mouth. It was warm, gentle, sweet, and he couldn’t help but push up into it, begging for more like the selfish-- No. He pushed the intrusive thoughts away. He was getting better at that, he was, but sometimes he couldn’t help them. 

The soft moan that Steve let out, pulling TJ closer to him, helped to banish the thoughts. As always, Steve and Bucky’s touch sent such ugly thoughts skittering away like light chasing away the dark. 

His wrists now secured, Bucky helped him to his feet as Steve held the kiss. Bucky was the one to guide them both to the bed, and let them fall blindly onto the thick duvet of the bed they all shared. Now in place, TJ set up on his side between the both of them, Bucky continued to suck sweet marks into TJ’s neck. He pressed his body flush to TJ’s, squishing TJ tighter between them. They knew, the tighter the squeeze, the safer and happier TJ felt. The best was when they tied him up, prevented him from moving. The more rope or restraints, the better, the safer and more loved he felt. 

Steve ended the kiss, pulling away from where he was sucking on TJ’s tongue, to press open mouth kisses to his throat. He met Bucky on TJ’s shoulder and he could feel them kiss by his ear and over his head. They pressed him tighter between them to reach, both of their arms tight around him. 

When the kiss ended, Bucky rolled him so he was laying on his back, his arms under him. It wasn’t a position that he could maintain for long without his arms falling asleep, but he didn’t think of that. Thought only of how he could be best useful for his lovers in this position. He still stared up at Steve, the order from before still applied until Steve or Bucky told him otherwise. If Bucky interrupted his line of sight, he wouldn’t and couldn’t complain. 

“Maybe we should tie him to the frame instead?” Bucky suggested, scooching back on the bed to kiss and suck at TJ’s inviting thighs. “Could you get the rope?” He asked Steve and then bit down on a mark that hadn’t faded yet from last time they were together. It was Bucky’s favourite place to mark, and had become an almost permanent bruise with how often Bucky chose to suck and nip at it. Steve had a similar spot, low on the back of his neck. It was enough to be hidden from the cameras under his clothes, whenever TJ ever was in public enough to be seen. 

TJ obeyed his order to watch Steve for as long as he could. When Steve disappeared into the closet, his gaze tugged down to watch Bucky instead, long enough until Steve reappeared in the doorway. They had accumulated a large collection of rope in the past year, but their favourite, at least TJ’s favourite, was the natural hemp rope they used. It smelled sweet, felt soft, and left the best marks on his body. They had other rope as well, synthetic cord in all different colours. Blue to match his eyes, pink and purple, red. They had used it all, depending on what it had been used for. 

Sometimes they liked to tie him up in intricate ways. Sometimes they suspended him from the ceiling, or folded him into different positions on the bed. And when they were done, they took pictures of him. Sometimes Steve would draw him, letting TJ float high in subspace for hours. He had a whole album saved onto his computer dedicated to just him in rope. When they were done tying him up, he always felt so limp and lax, safe and owned by just them. Nothing in the world could hurt him while he was tied up just for them. 

The hemp was his favourite, and the most used. The more it was used, the softer it got, and the more TJ adored it. 

Steve untied his wrists, and TJ limply let his left wrist be moved to the edge of the bed where Steve let it rest. TJ stared up adoringly at Steve as he began by tying the rope to the post with a simple column tie. Today wasn’t about being pretty or intricate. It was about function, and TJ honestly couldn’t say which he enjoyed more. The days when the rope was all about function were just as sweet, even though it was in a different way, as the days Steve and Bucky tied him up for art. 

As Steve secured his arms to the bedposts, Bucky worked his way up TJ’s thighs and to his very interested cock. He couldn’t help but buck up into the direction of Bucky’s mouth and moan at the contact. 

Steve and Bucky had instilled rules on TJ. Some were fun rules, and some were more serious. The obvious ones being about using and about food. Rules that kept TJ safe and healthy for them. The fun ones, were rules like the one where TJ couldn’t touch his cock, let alone come, without their permission. They had discussed a chastity device, but that was too easy. They wanted TJ to control himself for them. And it was difficult, keeping his hands off himself while they were away. He was never left unattended for more than a few days, which made it easier. 

TJ loved the structure they put on his life. He’d never been very good with it on his own, but with both Bucky and Steve there to enforce it, keep him in line, it was exactly what TJ needed. They dictated much of his life now. When he ate, and moderately what he ate. Where he went, what he did. Sometimes even how he did it. Sometimes the rules fluctuated. Like sometimes he wasn’t allowed to even use the bathroom without their permission, and other times he was free to do as he willed in that area. 

Who knew that he could obey rules like that? That he thrived under strict control. He had been the child that rebelled, that pushed out against the rules and what everyone had wanted him to be. Bucky had told him one time that it might have been because he never got the right rules, the right amount of control, and the right amount of praise and affection for following them. TJ couldn’t think of any reason why Bucky would be wrong. 

The rope tightened around his right wrist just as Bucky sucked the head of his cock into his mouth. He gasped and forced his hips back into the bed. It had been days since he’d last been touched, and his cock was already slick with the attention. His body warm and tingling, starting from his wrists and radiating inwards to warm his whole body. 

Steve bent to dip his tongue into TJ’s mouth and TJ welcomed him eagerly. He moaned into Steve’s mouth as Bucky’s tongue flicked the slit of his penis. He tasted TJ for a moment, not nearly long enough in TJ’s opinion, before moving away. He began anew, tying another rope to the posts above the ones securing his wrists. Only when both posts had a column tie, did he pull one of TJ’s legs up and secure it above his head. It was tight, but not too tight for TJ. It was enough that he could feel the slight burn of the stretch in his legs, but not so much that it hurt. It only served to settle him farther into that place he wanted to be. 

Bucky was deep throating TJ by then. His cock encased in a silky warm throat that worked like heaven around him. TJ didn’t want to ask how Bucky had gotten so good at that. Even the first time they had been together, Bucky sucked cock like no one, not even TJ with all his experience, could. And then he'd only improved. He seemed to know TJ's body better than TJ knew himself. He could send TJ right to the edge, and even when TJ thought he'd most definitely go over, Bucky would stop just in time. Bucky enjoyed teasing him like this relentlessly. He could spend hours between TJ's legs, just sucking his cock and keeping him on edge. 

Steve liked to do the tying, and would look up all the intricate and artistic ways he could bend TJ's body. Bucky liked to manipulate his body once he was left powerless. Tease him, torture him with the sweetest kind of pain he could come up with. Bucky had once said that TJ was his most beautiful all broken down just for him, tears in his eyes and cracked open so everything wrong with him spilled out and left him pure again. Bucky and Steve together could make TJ look and feel like the most beautiful thing in the world. 

Bucky pulled off of TJ's cock and left smatterings of kisses on his inner thighs. He worked himself up to the backs of TJ's thighs, biting and nipping where TJ would sit later. His favourite place to mark was where TJ would feel it later. Steve loved to mark TJ just as much, but preferred the bite of rope to do the work for him. 

Now that the rope was tight around his wrists and ankles, holding him open wide and in place for the both of them, he let himself pull at it. He didn’t struggle, but he let himself jerk at the ropes binding him in place, no longer containing his reactions to the lovely touches placed on his body. Steve bent down to taste TJ’s mouth again, and TJ allowed his arms to jerk on the ropes in an attempt to wrap his arms around Steve and pull close. He never got that far, only far enough to press his fists to Steve’s shoulders, pleading him to come closer, kiss him deeper. 

Steve chuckled warmly, pulling away from TJ even as he whined in protest, to press his forehead to TJ’s. “Look at our boy,” he whispered softly as TJ stared up into his eyes. “He’s so beautiful for us. Gives himself up for us. Isn’t he Bucky?” Bucky answered with a hum and particularly sharp bite that TJ couldn’t help but gasp and shut his eyes for. His eyes watered now, the pain finally catching up to him, and thrust his hips up into the air. He wanted to be touched, he needed to be touched. 

“Please,” he begged, his first words since Steve and Bucky had come home. Before they’d left, he’d been instructed not to talk. The only words that were allowed to leave his lips were to beg them. For more, to stop, anything. But he had to beg and plead. Some days that would be a rule, TJ’s silence. And sometimes that was TJ’s favourite rule. If he didn’t speak, he couldn’t say anything stupid. They’d love him for longer if he didn’t mess this up and say anything stupid. And though they both said they loved to hear him speak, in particular how he sounded when he begged, they gave him what he needed and restricted his voice. 

Sometimes ordering him silent was sufficient, but at times he couldn’t hold it in. They had a whole selection of gags for then, or whenever Bucky and Steve decided it would fit into their canvas and how they wanted him to look for that day. The best and TJ’s favourite was the ring gag. He would drool humiliatingly and be unable to make coherent words, but he was also available to service either of them at any time they needed too. And TJ loved feeling useful. 

Another bite stung his thighs, and his eyes closed as a sound slipped out. He jerked, but Bucky held him still, biting deeper. Bucky was a master at that, biting at different strengths, some teasingly light and sweet, barely there. Others so hard and sharp they’d bruise for weeks and tear at TJ’s eyes. He never knew which ones Bucky would leave. He had no pattern, and so it was always a surprise, which made them even better. 

“Ah! Please.” His eyes opened to stare up at Steve again, his hands reaching out and tugging at his restraints. Steve allowed him a kiss, pressed him down heavily into the bed and stroked his tongue deep into TJ’s mouth. He sucked lightly at TJ’s tongue, and then let his teeth scrape as he pulled away again. TJ chased Steve’s lips for as far as he could reach and then fell back to the bed panting. 

He let out another noise of pleasure as Bucky swallowed his cock down again, going deep and to the hilt almost in one motion. His hands pressed TJ’s hips to the bed so TJ couldn’t thrust up into that warm sweetness that was Bucky’s throat. “No, please.” He begged, head thrust to the side and eyes closing tight. It was too much, too good, too sweet all at once. He was gonna-- 

But again Bucky pulled off of him, nosing lightly at his thighs and leaving TJ a trembling mess. Tears leaked out of the sides of his eyes, and when Steve tilted his chin back and his eyes opened, his vision was nothing more than a blur. “Look at me.” Steve ordered firmly, and though TJ couldn’t see clearly, he nodded and kept Steve’s blurry form in his sights. Even blurry, Steve was beautiful. With big arms and hands, that felt so warm as they pressed him hard into the bed. 

Bucky’s fingers replaced his nose, lightly tracing circles into TJ’s skin. He shivered and pulled away from the ticklish light touch, but he couldn’t go far. The ropes held him firm, and Steve’s warm chest on top of him prevented most other movement that the ropes would allow. Bucky didn’t let up, teasing him with ticklish light touch until tears were rolling down his cheeks steadily, Steve kissing them away but not bothering to keep up. 

He wanted it to stop, he wanted them to never let up. This was pure pleasure for his touch deprived body. They had touched him relentlessly in the past year, but it wasn’t enough to make up for the rest of his life. TJ was always hungry for it, for all the sensations they could give him. Even when the touch was too much and he wanted it to stop, he never wanted them to let up. He was overstimulated in the best way, and never wanted anything different for the rest of his life. 

“No, no, no. Please. Please no.” He begged, but they knew what he meant. He had a safe word for this very reason. He needed to be allowed to say no, because even though he said the words, he didn’t mean them. He never meant them. No meant yes. No meant more. No meant keep going and never stop. None of his other lovers, the many that there were, had ever understood that. Then again, none had taken him close to where Steve and Bucky had. 

Steve, he knew, always waited a moment to see if TJ would safeword out. He was considerate like that. And TJ had used his safeword before. It had taken him a while to realise that safewording out was not weakness. That safewording was important and something he had to do. It was his one responsibility, and Steve and Bucky wouldn’t play with him if they couldn’t trust him to use his safeword. So he’d used it in the past, for things he’d never expected he’d need to. Sometimes simple things were too much to bear, they had explained to him. The first time had felt awful, and the subdrop had been brutal. His anxiety had spiked so high and so hard it had scared him. 

He’d only ever felt that bad before when he was in withdrawal, and even then he didn’t think he’d felt as low emotionally. When he was out of it, he was amazed that Bucky and Steve had stayed with him throughout the entire time. They’d kept him warm as he shivered in shock, kissed him sweetly even has he cried ugly sobbing tears, and put up with him even as he shouted abuse at them and himself. Afterwards, they had set him down and explained what they expected from him. What they needed from him to keep him safe not only emotionally but physically. They’d told him that they needed a sub they could trust, and if they couldn’t trust him, they couldn’t play. Oh they wouldn’t leave him, but they wouldn’t give him what he needed so badly. 

So now he used his safeword when he needed it, and he tried to not feel ashamed when he used it. Though, now they knew him well enough that he rarely needed to. They knew his limits. They knew how to push him past them safely and in a way that left TJ feeling amazing and loved. He rarely used it anymore, but it was there when he needed it. So Steve hesitated before silencing his pleas with another searing kiss. His voice was swallowed up as Steve pressed him harder into the mattress and claimed his mouth with a ferocity and a sweetness TJ only knew Steve capable of in bed. 

Unlike before, Bucky didn’t touch his cock. This time, he removed his teasing, tickling fingers and TJ was so distracted he didn’t hear the cap of lube pop. But he certainly felt it when Bucky’s slick fingers slipped inside of him. TJ had never needed much prep, and could start stretching at two fingers. He enjoyed the burn of it, and one finger was never enough to do much. So Bucky started with two, pressing them slowly into TJ. 

His fingers were slick, and cool, sinking deeper into TJ with every breath. Bucky knew TJ could handle more, could handle him going faster. But Bucky wouldn’t be Bucky if he didn’t tease him in every way he knew how. With Steve on top of him and his body restrained and forced open as it was, he couldn’t push up onto Bucky’s fingers. He couldn’t sink the fingers deeper inside of him. Instead he had to be patient and wait for Bucky to give him what he wanted.  
The lubricant was warming, and soon was warmer than his skin. The tears started again, sliding down his cheeks as he struggled against Steve and his bonds to get Bucky’s fingers deeper inside of him. It was useless. Not only were Steve and his ropes impossible to fight against, Bucky was able to keep his fingers just as deep in as Bucky wanted them to be. 

Bucky knew exactly where TJ’s prostate was, had found it many times. He avoided it now, pressing his fingers deep in but not brushing near the pleasurable gland. The stretch and burn, and the way Bucky’s fingers felt in TJ were pleasurable enough to tease just so. When Bucky inserted a third finger, he brushed TJ’s prostate every few thrusts, urging more tears to leak down TJ’s face. 

The kiss with Steve was salty from his tears, and messy. It was loud from the sounds of pleasure TJ couldn’t help but make. Steve would break the kiss every now and then to kiss at the tears on TJ’s face, clean them away with his lips. TJ could feel how hard Steve was, his length pressing against his side. The thought that he was the reason for it filled him with warmth. 

Four fingers is when Bucky finally decided he was stretched enough. TJ would argue with him if he could, that he didn’t need so much preparation. That two or even three were enough. TJ had argued in the past. They didn’t need to pay so much attention to that for him. But Bucky wouldn’t hear it, Steve even less so. It was one of the first times they had restricted his speech. Bucky had told him, looking as serious as TJ had ever seen him, that the preparation might not be important to TJ, but it was important to them. TJ couldn’t argue with that. Never could he deny them, not when they lavished him in so much wonderful love and affection. 

Steve pulled away from the kiss to let TJ breathe, gasp in much needed sweet oxygen. Air that smelled thick with sex and cherry from the lubricant. He allowed TJ’s eyes to close as he laid back against the mattress and panted, not quite sobbing but still steadily crying. It wasn’t a surprise that a cock replaced Bucky’s fingers. Steve pressed his lips to TJ’s and they both moaned in unison. It was a surprise to find that the cock wasn’t Bucky’s and was instead Steve’s. 

He didn’t enter TJ slowly. He didn’t wait for TJ to adjust to him either. Steve started thrusting deep inside of him almost right away. His cock brushing perfectly up against TJ’s prostate. TJ’s eyes rolled into the back of his head and he couldn’t help but sob out his pleasure. “Stop, please. Nooo.” He moaned, words broken and ripped from his throat. It still wasn’t his safeword, and it wouldn’t be. Everything was too good, too perfect. Except Bucky. He didn’t know where Bucky was, he just felt Steve. Steve lying on him, Steve kissing him, Steve thrusting inside him so perfectly… 

But Bucky wasn’t anywhere. 

Another break in between kisses allowed TJ to breathe, but he didn’t take advantage of it. Instead he called for Bucky, babbling his name in a way that was equal to all his other pleas. Suddenly, Bucky was there. He wasn’t at TJ’s legs anymore, instead he was by TJ’s head. He pressed kisses to TJ’s tear soaked face, running his fingers through sweat matted hair and shushing him softly. 

“Here, babe.” He promised in between soft kisses on his brow and tear stained eyes. “I’m here, I’ve got ya.” He swore, and TJ settled enough to enjoy Steve fucking deep into him. 

“Oh no,” TJ sobbed, pressing his face up into Bucky’s kisses. It was too much. He was getting too close. He hadn’t been given permission to come and he wasn’t allowed. It was building up in him so fast and hard. “No no no, please. Please.”

And everything stopped. 

TJ let out a wail and struggled hard against his bonds, fists hitting the bed beside his head. Steve wasn’t in him anymore, he was still holding onto him tightly and pressing him to the bed, but TJ was painfully empty and so so so close it was painful. He looked up to see Bucky’s hand on Steve’s arm, and knew instantly that Bucky had noticed, had stopped Steve just in time. Warring feelings of disappointment, frustration, and utter love welled up inside of him. Why did Bucky have to know him so well? Why hadn’t he been allowed to come? At the same time he was so grateful it wasn’t over yet. It couldn’t be. 

On Bucky’s cue, Steve dipped inside TJ. One sweet stroke that had TJ spasming and crying out with pleasure. Again. Again. Slow, and horribly teasing. It became painful from overstimulation fast, but he couldn’t communicate that. Bucky knew anyways, it was exactly what he wanted. TJ was feeling everything as Bucky wanted him to. 

Long minutes of this passed, until TJ was far enough away from orgasm. And then Steve was completely gone. He wasn’t pressing him into the bed, he no longer dipped painfully teasing into TJ’s body. He instead laid down next to TJ, pressing into his side and kissing his cheeks sweetly. Then, Bucky filled him up, and it was back to the fast, rough thrusting Steve had started with. His prostate caught on every stroke. 

Steve licked and kissed at TJ’s neck, low enough so that TJ wouldn’t have to hide it if they went out. He was always so thoughtful, so considerate. Bucky was warm and full inside of him, his strokes speeding up and slowing down according to TJ and how his body reacted to the stimulation. 

Until finally, 

“Steve,” Bucky tugged on Steve’s now damp dress shirt. Steve was gone instantly, no longer kissing and biting at TJ’s neck. Instead his lips found their way around TJ’s cock. He couldn’t help the scream he let out. He fisted the sheets under his hands, and stopped breathing, holding back his orgasm with everything he could. He wasn’t allowed… 

“Come, TJ.” Bucky growled, and TJ’s body obeyed mindlessly. He couldn’t control it, it wasn’t his body to control. It was Bucky’s. It was Steve’s. It would obey them over him always. His orgasm consumed him and his body jolted and jerked with the incredible fireworks that was his orgasm. His body seized and he couldn’t breathe or force his body to do anything besides be swamped with pleasure. It lasted minutes, years, decades. He couldn’t tell how long. Only that it happened. 

Only after, when he started breathing again and the aftershocks ran through his body like a new earth, did he realise that Bucky had come inside of him. Bucky was now laying ontop of him, breathing deeply and kissing at his chest and neck. Almost worshipping TJ’s very sensitive body. Carefully, very gently, did Bucky pull out of TJ. His crying renewed at the loss, the feeling of complete emptiness after being full for so long. 

The emptiness didn’t last long. Steve’s cock replaced Bucky’s. Never had his cock been so welcome, yet so unwelcome at the same time. Steve thrust slowly into TJ and it tore a pained pleasured sound out of him with every thrust. Before, it had all felt like too much. But now he was so oversensitive. He hadn’t fully come down from his orgasm and Steve continued to stroke at his prostate. 

A hand wrapped around his cock and he squeezed his eyes shut and cried out. It was warm and slick and perfect and absolutely too much. So much that it was painful. It didn’t matter that he was still leaking come. The hand stroked him firmly and quickly, with no finesse at all. He was sobbing and could feel bruises forming with how hard he pulled at the ropes to try to get away from it all. It felt so good, but it hurt so bad. 

He couldn’t form words anymore. Just sobbed and jerked as his body was pulled and pushed and stroked. He couldn’t see, he couldn’t hear. The only thing he could focus on was his prostate and his cock. He couldn’t control his body and knew it was spasming and moving against his control. 

And then with a particularly deep and long thrust into him, it was over. The hand left his limp cock, and the thick cock that filled him retreated. He could feel on the edge of his awareness a liquid dripping out of his hole, squishing as he moved. His legs were released, but they didn’t feel like legs anymore. They felt like jello as they were guided back to the bed by helpful hands. His hands were released and he could feel his wrists having the feeling rubbed back into them. Once done, the same was done with his feet, and they worked their way up his legs. Gentle and slow. 

The hands rubbed out his whole body, massaging it until it was limp and loose. He slowly came to, realising that the hands were more than just two, but four. Then as more awareness set in, he realised where he was and whose hands were on his body. 

“Yours,” he slurred out, forgetting the rule about speaking altogether. He wasn’t shushed, but was instead kissed sweetly by both of his lovers as they promised he was theirs. Sweet words that he wasn’t conscious enough to process continued as they both wrapped themselves around his exhausted body. They held him briefly, before one, he couldn’t tell who, left. He cried out at the thought of it, hands clutching at the air for them to come back. His hands were caught and kissed. 

“Shh, sweet boy,” Bucky’s lips so soft and gentle on his pianist’s fingers. “He’s coming back. He’s getting a wet towel to clean us up. You’re so good, babe.” TJ hid his head in Bucky’s neck. The freedom from the ropes and their bodies was too much, and he needed it for a little longer. Bucky didn’t push him away, but instead held him tighter. 

When Steve came back, he was worked out of Bucky’s arms gently. He was kissed delicately by Steve, his big warm hands cupping TJ’s face as the warm damp cloth wiped the mess on his chest and thighs clean. It was gentle, oh so gentle, because anything more than that would be too much again. He was still so sensitive. His whole body hadn’t stopped tingling and it was the most beautiful feeling he’d ever experienced in his life. 

Once he was clean, once they all were clean, they wrapped themselves around him again. At some point they had removed their remaining clothes so bare skin met bare skin. The pressure from all sides was always welcome. Soft kisses pressed to his face and neck randomly when the mood struck. He wanted to stay where he was forever. 

He came up out of subspace slowly. He was still relatively in it, but he was out enough to be conscious of the world around him. He felt Bucky and Steve on both sides, breathing deeply and steadily. They weren’t asleep, but simply relaxed around him. Occasionally they would speak, and TJ recognised the pleasant rumblings around him as their speech. They weren’t talking about anything important. Just sweet words to each other and to him. Telling him how good he was for them, and how much they loved him. 

He couldn’t help but bury his head into Steve’s chest and break out into a new round of tears. His eyes and throat already stung, but he couldn’t help it. Before Steve and Bucky he’d never felt so much affection. No one had stayed long enough, nor given him as much as they had. The emotion filled up and burst out of him. He found himself this way a lot recently, but he couldn’t say he’d want it any other way. He’d spent too much of his life bottling his emotions or pushing them away. He spent his life angry and scared, spiraling into the unknown with no escape. Just a deep chasm of nothingness pulling him in. 

He still felt like falling, most days, most times. But instead of feeling like he was falling into nothing, he felt like he was falling into warm arms that held him tight and loved him with every fibre of their being. This falling still scared him, and some days he worried that the arms would drop him, or wouldn’t catch him at all. But most of the time, he felt safe and wasn’t scared any longer. 

He was loved now. 

He was safe.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment if you enjoyed the story! 
> 
> You can find me on tumblr at [whichfandomdoipick](http://whichfandomdoipick.tumblr.com/)
> 
> AN: I want to add that this is a fluffy slice of life piece. There's much more to TJ's struggle and addiction that I didn't want to get into in the story. It's not an easy road, recovering from addiction. In my own idea of how the universe works, TJ still struggles everyday with his addiction. He struggles with his anxiety and depression. The difference in this universe is that he has a support system that not only loves him, but believes in him. And even though this is a positive point in his life, I'm not saying that he is 100% recovered and will never use drugs again. I'm only saying that now, he has help.


End file.
